Is your dream still flying?

As we grow up, it seems that we have lost many things, such as the dreams we

 had in childhood, in teenagerhood. Well. i still remember when i was a  little girl, i

was full of passion being a teacher . Everytime back from school, I would pick up

chalks writing on the door, and acted really i was a teacher.It is fun to recall the

days, the childhood days would never return. That was the dream. I announed my

 dream in the family that time. Looking backwards, what I dreamed in teenager

 time was being a lawer, my father said it was the other day, i didn't remember if

it was. But, I know, I am far away the dreams I had before. I have abandoned all

my dreams, well , it appears. I am pondering : how would things happen this way

Nothing can push me ahead,  I am falling behind the dreamers. Without dreams in

life, just like a bird without wings to fly in the sky. Will is the factor to support the

dream, I don't have, either at least, it is the moment. Is my dream still flying? Only

one year left in university, I don't except a simple way to say farewell as an end, i

desire a brilliant way to  mark the college time in my life. Before I confirmed some

thing that really didn't belong to my life, I have wasted  lots of time,  I felt

exhausted. I know, because it turned out that was totally wrong for me. So, my

hear and soul finally released. Though, most fully hurt, that is the new start of

another journey. You are not my dream, it lies in somewhere, where? Well, I think

I am on the way to descover.

16:46:49

薰衣草开出罂粟的花

普罗旺斯的春天拥有一整片紫色的薰衣草, 随风起舞,连空气都渲染成紫色的淡淡花香.

普罗旺斯是属于薰衣草生长的地方,是最适合绽放她美丽的地方.

薰衣草很依赖普罗旺斯的舒适,一直依偎着普罗旺斯.可是,

有一株薰衣草却坚信世上还存在着一个同样的普罗旺斯,是属于自己的.

她要在那片普罗旺斯上开出一片绚丽的花海.

她不顾众人劝阻固执地来到地球的另一端,跋山涉水,以为找到了同样的普罗旺斯,会开出同样的花海,

一整片一整片的紫色的花蕊.相反,在那片土地上,却开出了罂粟一样的花,

散发着邪恶的美丽.薰衣草难过地流下了眼泪,滴在罂粟上,染成一片红.

看着车窗外一闪而过的风景,街道上闪烁的

霓虹灯,却十分冷清.大年三十,这个城市少了往日的热闹和喧嚣,多了片刻的宁静,似乎有点哀伤的味道.

不记得从什么时候起,每年的三十都会从这个家赶回那个家,又那个家赶回这个家.长大了,更分不清到

底哪个才是我的家?对于爸爸,我总有深深的歉意,我始终不能说服自己在家过年,总是吃了晚饭到最后

还是要执意回外婆家,并不是怨恨爸爸,而是一种感觉,家的感觉在那个家不感觉不到.即使我知道这样

每次的拒绝,会让他多少有点伤心,他说了小时候是这样,,大了还是这样.其实,我也有心软想留下来,只

是那个家太陌生了,我不习惯.或许,一直没有和他一起生活,对他有点见外,但在内心深处,我是爱爸爸

的,只是我没有让这种感情流露出来,虽然,在我的生命里,他错过了和我一起成长,一起生活.但是,我的

生命是他与妈妈给予的,即使我有时会在内心抱怨他们错误的结合也把我带到这个世界,或许一切生命

纯属偶然,只是不巧我是那个偶然,所以,我只能承受.是被呵护的太好了,当我发现和周围的一切是多

么不同时,原本世界固有的一切美好在瞬间破灭的时候,我才发觉自己根本无法抵挡,无法保护自己,原

来自己根本没有象想象得那样坚强和勇敢,或许,我真的是温室里的一朵花朵.有时,觉得很孤单,周国平

先生说":孤单的人是形而上的,孤单的人是悲剧性的,"我不知道自己是不是属于他说的那种孤单,,张小

娴说过:"大多数人,都会输给际遇." 我相信这句话, 生命太无常,什么是拥有的,什么是失去的,没有永远,

只有此刻,没有承诺,只有现在.拥有又怎样,意味着失去,,失去的,不会再拥有;过去的等于不曾存在过.如

果,失去占生命的大部分,得到又有什么意义呢?

05年,微笑过,哭泣过;开心过,伤心过;期盼过,失望过;执着过, 放弃过;坚持过, 茫然过,我把这一切都留

2005年,留在过去,用一颗真挚的心迎接06年,我知道,这一年会属于我!

好久没有看到海口的雨了.今晚,和 Hanson他们分开后,坐 bus回家,在车站下车,天空飘起了小雨, 喜欢

海口的小雨,细腻而温柔,我放慢了脚步,在街上看来来往往的人群,绚丽的街景,那

条熟悉的再不能熟悉的街,伴随着我成长. 小时候,传统的小街,传统的商店,传统的

人们,如今,我长大,一切都消失在过去,现代取代了传统,商业取代了一切,喧嚣代替

了寂静,车水马龙代替了,外来人口也在和本地人民不断融合.在过去与现在之间,这

个城市在繁华之后失去了什么?在现在与未来之间,她又在得到的同时失去什么呢?

思绪好凌乱,只是觉得一切都已经疏远,变得陌生,一座座的商业广场拔地而起,楼宇

之间的间隙越来越狭窄,看着街上抽着烟的高中生,回想那年的我是否有如此叛逆?

好象我一直都很乖,是傻傻的乖,是木讷的乖,是呆呆的乖. 看着路上迎面的而来的人群,

觉得很拥挤,连呼吸都变得急促起来,曾经空旷的街道,自由的空间只能在梦中找寻了.

这个城市,对我而言,原本熟悉的味道在消逝,在淡化. 大抵我是个太怀旧的人了,人,只能向前看

我却总喜欢回头,喜欢回味,喜欢回忆,而一切都在遵循着规律前进.有时,很害怕得到一些东西

因为我害怕失去.我没有勇气独自承受失去的痛楚,我做不到......

不知道是哪里出了错，等待了千年的轮回，你我还是梦过无痕的失落。还记得相遇的那一瞬，带来一卷轻风拂面，吹落一树桃花逐水流，那细微的花落，仿佛爱情擦身而过的声音。清晨，我来到我们相遇的那个位置，桃花依旧随风飘零，溪水径自呀呀流淌，还是那一阵阵的轻风，而你，已隔天涯。

Finally, i  have set up my own space on MSN, WOW!!! I am so thrilled for it, filled with excitement. I call it Lesbos, in fact,  which is an  island  in ancient  Greek. It is well known as  Sappho's birth place. Sappoh   is   the earliest  poetess in the world  as we know. The times she lived is quite different from what we live now. It is said  that  she was born in  a noble family, she spent  her childhood  on the island. After her husiband's death, she  return ed to  Lesbos from  North ern  of Istaly. At that time, she had already created poets,  and no one can compare  to her. On  lesbos, she  had  founded school for girls,   and lessons inclued poets music  manners, even make up and clothes.  Sappho loved these young and beautiful girl students, and  theie special love made Lesbos become the symbol of   love between modern  Lebians. 

i  am  agirl  who fonds of poems,  i  admired Sappho, but  no  a Lesbian. Actually, Sappho wasn't . She  loved her students though, she died because of a  handsome yong man  called Phaon, who was only a  boat man. He treated Sappho's love  as nothing so that  she  fell into the sea from  valley. At  rhat  time, she was 55 years old. 

So i  name my space as Lesbos to  write ....